I was thinking about not writing today, not only because there is no wifi in the hotel, but also because what I lived and felt today is possibly too personal and mystical, or should I say relegious? That it can not be really explained in words. I will try, but don't judge me. I am not going crazy.
I travelled the whole day to get to Borobudur, 2 long flights and an exhausting road journey, it was tiring, but my thoughts were concentrated on knowing that I have done a major step on my personal situation. I am letting time weather wrath, and I have started walking, now, for real, the road to forgiveness. Coincidentially, E. Gilbert's book was talking about her "roof top experience" in the Ashram in India on forgiveness, and it felt cormftable to know I was starting a similar process.
A especial young boy at the hotel in Borobudur, took me to a buddhist monk monastery, to sit in the back and hear them pray. I do not have words, it is too spiritual, no words can explain the feeling. And most of you know me, I am very "down to Earth" but you cannot keep your feet on he ground, you elevate without noticing. The boy, after took me to the Mendut temple, it was already 7:30 pm. This temple was built before Borobudur in the 8th century. But for once I am going to step aside of the historical facts and leave myself out of being a "tour guide". I was left alone in that temple, only one light iluminated the sacred buda figure in the centre. I sat in the mat and cushion they provided for me. I coud hear the rain, the frogs and my breathing.
I closed my eyes and just remained still. Suddenly my mind was opening my door's apartment in Bogota, I walked through the studio, I could hear the Christmas mees outside, I opened the door of the terrace, and sat down for a while, my plants where there, I closed the window and walked through the whole apartment. I sat down in the studio. This is all I can say.
When coming back to where I really was, I couldn't feel much my body, just this noise of silence that your brain creates, the "no sound noise" if that makes any sense. The volume of it went up and up, I could only hear perfect silence and I could perceive warmth and light inside.
For a small but eternal lapse in time, my mind felt free.